Tuesday, January 01, 2008
RELNK HERE!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
i always wondered why is life so unfair at times. some ppl can be pretty but yet some ppl so ugly. some ppl can be so skinny whereas others so fat. there isn't someone who is perfect?i dunno what to talk.. i feel weird. is like a piece of jig saw puzzle who cant fit in anywhere. a jig saw puzzle who have no rights. i dunno why am i getting so sensitive these few days... and these few days, many ppl are mentioning the missing piece deep in my heart. i agreed i am immune to all these mentioning. but these few days, i felt jealous and maybe a little hatred. the feelings are awake. they had been slping all these while and they woke up somehow.
ppl may say, life is always so unfair. i agree. humans are nvr contented with what they have now dont they? xiner and carissa gave me advice. and i decided to listen to it. i shld decide later. and if i really decided, i wld break the news to them soon.
migrating is still stuck in my mind. i am not avoiding all this problem. is just that i want a new environment thats all. i have the urge to start everything all anew. it wld be a fresh start.
a jig saw puzzle who had drifted away and lost her way. maybe she can never find her way back anymore. a jig saw puzzle who appeared to be strong but actually i need to be protected.
i am not someone who is 15. because i am too mature to be 15.
mature jig saw puzzle.
sounds funny. hahaha.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
as i grow older day by day, year by year..i realised that i have to accept many things or even many reality that i had been avoiding all these year. just like christmas, as i grow older, the lesser christmas presents i get.. but i am not calculating all these small things because such stuff are considered nothing to me. family members scold me for being distant from them because i love to stay in my room and hog on my computer. but is just i have no mood at times. sometimes i just dont wish to talk, dont wish to see anyone. these few days or even weeks, i had been avoiding a reality. i thought i had been very good at it but in the end i did not manage to run away. maybe to you, that sentence is just a normal remark but to me, is not. i thought i had been strong enough not to cry but i just cant hold it any longer. i know my existance had always been a hindrance but do you knw i had been trying ways to disappear? i had been trying not to appear. maybe to you all, i may be kicking a big fuss. but i really dont care anymore. i am already very far away from where you are. is okay if you all treat me invisible. i wld be more than happy to be invinsible because my existance is no longer important.my change may not be obvious but i can feel myself changing. as the sch reopen draw nearer, i am just at a loss. i can give up now and concentrate on my studies. i would be more than happy to. kalyn taught me to live in my own world and i already mastered it well enough to cover my feelings.
sometimes, i hope you all can put urself in my shoe. if my existance is really a hindrance. please feel free to say. because i am more than happy to disappear from all of your life. all the more, i am already drifting away. or can even say. already drifted away.
my mind is telling me to disappear from here.
i just want my mum to agree to let me go overseas and study.
i dont want to stay here any longer.
zhe4 li3 yi3 mei3 you3 ren4 he2 dong1 xi zhi2 de2 wo3 liu2 lian4.
i repeat once more. i don care whether u all think i may be kicking a big fuss.
i said. i dont care anymore.
i am fine with any single thing.
just leave me alone.
i repeat. ALONE.
I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE.
because my existance is just a hindrance. a hindrance. always a hindrance. nth can change abt that.
being sensitive is not my fault. because from young, i am being brought up in a different way.
a different environment. i have to be mature from very young. but my heart is not mature. i just want more care and concern.
because my childhood is just different from you all.
if time can be reversed, i wished my childhood was complete. but not in the form of excused.
i don like giving excuses. excuses only makes me more clear that deep in my heart, there is one smthing that is incomplete.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
i bought them after the first day in KL.
boy, we are in genting. not korea.i am back from my trip for like dunno how long and i am lazy to blog. /:
my trip's actually quite boring...
i spent most of my time in genting playing.
went to play arcade, theme park and etc.
i think my cousins and i are mad.
people are screaming away on the roller coaster whereas my cousin-- kean ( 5 yrs old) are laughing away.
that girl sitting beside me was very freaked out but she did not dare to scream because we were laughing. then when she alight the roller coaster she told her brother, " kor! i very scared eh! but cannot scream!"
i am sry!
oooh. today's orientation.
and i have decided to continue my dieting plan.
i thought of a more faster way.
i shadn't say what if not i would be scolded. :x
as for KL trip, nth much actually.
just shop and shop and shop.
i bought 6 t - shirts, 1 pair of converse shoe, 6 magazines, 5 comics, 3 VCDs ( shows!), 1 bangle, 1 small bag, 1 mango bag...and what else? i cant really remember already.
ohoh. and i have a phobia for cars now. /:
i nearly got run down by car the other day.
mr choi was behind me when i was crossing the traffic light.
that car drove past even though it was a green man!
and luckily i hurry took a step backwards in time.
i was just 1 cm away from the car.
if not i wld be in hospital blogging.
rahhh. until now i cant forget man.
gosh i am hungry....////:
shall upload some photos that i took during the trip.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
yo kids! i am back!
guess where i went to yesterday?
i went for duck tour and hippo tour! lol!
my family said that everyone has to go. so no choice.
on the duck tour, i just realised that actually singapore is very beautiful.
just that many of us did not realize it.
with the singapore flyer, explanade, merlion, fullerton and raffles hotel.
all i want to say is, that is so singapore.
i guess i wld not attend fdc 2morrow again.
i have not packed my luggage and i realised i do not have enough clothes to go overseas.
and i am already going off on wed.
so i have to buy within 2 days!
gosh! no more time man!
my cousins went to hong kong and china.
and i was grumbling non stop to my mum that i also want to go.
i just want to sit aeroplane! rahhh! i want to play games!
i was watching jing ma jiang!
and guess what?
lollipop attended obviously and i finally saw wang zi new hairstyle!
he dyed his hair!
lol! i was so stunned when i saw them on tv.
seriously, i stunned for like 5 sec with my expression like that --> :O
hehe!
guess where i went to yesterday?
i went for duck tour and hippo tour! lol!
my family said that everyone has to go. so no choice.
on the duck tour, i just realised that actually singapore is very beautiful.
just that many of us did not realize it.
with the singapore flyer, explanade, merlion, fullerton and raffles hotel.
all i want to say is, that is so singapore.
i guess i wld not attend fdc 2morrow again.
i have not packed my luggage and i realised i do not have enough clothes to go overseas.
and i am already going off on wed.
so i have to buy within 2 days!
gosh! no more time man!
my cousins went to hong kong and china.
and i was grumbling non stop to my mum that i also want to go.
i just want to sit aeroplane! rahhh! i want to play games!
i was watching jing ma jiang!
and guess what?
lollipop attended obviously and i finally saw wang zi new hairstyle!
he dyed his hair!
lol! i was so stunned when i saw them on tv.
seriously, i stunned for like 5 sec with my expression like that --> :O
hehe!
to ee suan, get well soon girl!
i can acc u talk on the phone! don go out yea? and better get well b4 sch reopen okay!
if not i wld be so lonely.. /:
don scratch okay? will have scar!
then later suan suan will be full of scar.
as for mp3, later then say luh!
let me plan my wishlist for the upcoming christmas!
- 15000 a cash for audition use.
- a new sunglasses
- a pair of new specs
- that design i like on myuk bag!
there is more actually. just that paiseh to say. hahaha!
i wan cash. more practical. then all this thing can fulfill!
cya kids! maybe i will update when i am back!
Monday, December 03, 2007
ever see before a human lobster?tts me now.
i am super burnt cum super tanned.
after the trip to WWW on saturday and swimming class on monday...
i became like that. rahhhh.
i am kinda worried now actually.
because we already started talentime ard this time last yr.
now i have not even finished and settled on a remix.
rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i am sad over that i have to clean away my black finger nails. ):
ohohoh. and i slept for 17 hrs! after camp!
pro or what?
my new record okay.
i totally skipped breakfast this whole 2 mths.
but my ultimate dieting still fail.
RAHHH.
going overseas next week!
i am quite excited!
because i can dress differently! hohohoho!
means i can wear my boots.
with my skinnies,
XDXDXD
because no one knws me so is okay if i dress differently!
wahahahaha!
gym with subha later. quite excited! because is another step towards ultimate dieting.
i was looking through some photos and i am soooo tempted to go taiwan.
because that side have soooo much nice clothes!!!!!!!
maybe hong kong is not a bad idea too!
is december already. which means sch holidays are going to be over pretty soon.
how sad.
which also means that sch is starting soon.
my new life is abt to begin.
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i still wan my slp!
pray hard that i can get A1 for my mother tongue O lvls.
and i do not need to take chinese anymore!
then how abt my hmt o lvls arh?
shall ask miss tan soon.
teehee!
TOODLES!
Friday, November 23, 2007
why can 1 sentence hurt me so much..and why can that 1 sentence make me hate myself so much.
and why my angel dont exist?