Wednesday, October 18, 2006
got back our results. i got nothing to sae. juz shake heads. i tot my mum won scold. end up she sae this term my results are horrible. tt make me nearly cry again. i dunno larh. i swear i had given my best effort. why am i not scoing well? i study like shit for history and i got a nearly pass while others never study can score so high? i tot my english would at least pass..end up? i failed so terribly? 17.5 upon 70. i scored 0 for my content in summary..nice right?i feel so useless. like i not syupid 2 the song like tt. yi sheng jue wang. the lyrics damn fit me. i was at first quite happy when i got back my maths. some things happen tt i nearly cry. but i hold back. jy knew..thanx.. then i had no more mood. then eng. tts worst. i was taking pen and knock the floor ro cover for myself. i try to smile. but is so hard..till i cant take it. i started crying. but i told them tt i was yawning. i could not understand..why ppl score so high and they can still sae they score so low? i scored like much worst? i feel so shit. i feel like turning the tables over. everyone in the classroom pratically talkin abt results and combi. i could not stand it. i wana block out. but mp3 so nice no batt. is so damn unlucky. i grabbed my notebook. went out to the backdoor and sat there and started drawing. but drawing simply sux larh. i cant succeed in anything, i am such a failure can.
azrinar gave back our science. i am still quite happy. but another thing happen. till i turn from sad to pissed and back to sad again.
had gastric todae. headache for 4 days already. and is still not gone yet.
had no mood to talk. had a quiet lunch wif jy. then left.
i don even knw if i can ever go into double science.
my mum maybe considering to let me stop my guitar.
cause i am shit.
i am nothing compared to my cousin right?
i tot guitar can at least let me have smthing to be compared.
i can still remember when my uncle said tt i am useless cause i knew nothing.
now my abilities gone.
combined science..
hahaha.. sure will laughed by my cousins.
but i guess is alright,
i got used to it somehow, somewhat.
byebye double science.
why am i so useless?
i feel tt i am a shit livin in this world.
what am i livin for?
when nothing is worth my care.
can u talk to me tonight?
i need u the most now.
i wana break down
but there are no one here.