Saturday, December 23, 2006
heyheyhey. this few daes update quite frequently.. so consider a improvement?my mood isnt very good this few days. i dunno y. maybe still upset? damn easily affected. then whenever hear some songs. then will feel upset. then oni can talk to cindy abt it. and i knw cindy u hear until don wana hear. but i dunno. i tell others like no one cares? but i realli thank cindy. thanx for hearing me out.
my mum tt few daes scolded me. say i not hardworkin. i attended all the tuition classes. and she malign me for not. i am s upset. so i told her can u don malign me? then she started scoldin sae what she sae oni where got malign me..
i dunno larh. these few days happened like so many things? i got so many things to rush? i dunno.. i realli got no mood. my mum now don allow me to slp later. i cant finish all my stuff..
i knw she love and care for me. is just tt.. the problem is with me.. not u..
maybe i need some comfort.
maybe i need to cry my hearts out.
i realli cant take it.
no one willing to hear me talk.
everything is builidin me up within me.
i told myself to stay strong.
but my tears just cant seem to listen to me.
no one understands how i feel.
if oni i can find a place. with no sadness.. with oni happiness..
and tt place is heaven..
if oni i can slp.. and neva wake up.. i can get away from the surrounding?
i no longer wana just cry. i no longer just wana feel useless. maybe i will stand up one dae. or maybe never. i don care anymore. i am just going to live in my own world. where i am immune to everything.
i thank my mp3. u block out all the talkings that i don wana hear. u are the oni one with me all the time.
i smile on the outside doesnt mean that i am on the inside. i am tired of wearing a mask. a mask that is not me.