Thursday, January 18, 2007
i shall start with yesterdae first larh. anw. started sch with like normal? so okay. but i could sense smthing was very wrong with sushila they all. when i wanted to go bukit merah they gave this look. then i was like fine i shadnt go. i din knw what happen. then until end class. they happily was like eh got bandage blahblah. then i wanted to run and they caught me. i was like i go 2c3 byebye! i wan to 2c3 and blah. but sushila and yj like caught hold of me and blindfolded me. then walk me from routanda to basketball court and i think got pass by canteen. on the way greeted 2 ma'ams i think.i was so freaky malu. blindfolded ok! then paraded ard the whole sch. hahaha. anw. they took off the bandage then got cakes and drinks. the cake got subha and my name on it. i was freaky touched. from young, no one did anything like tt. i was so touched tt i cried. realli. i had not experience smthing like tt b4. then we sat and started eating. and they sang bdae song! hahaha.ok todae. i shall start with my clique. they came my hse. hahaha . and excort me to sch. so nice right. hahaha. thanx anw. i knew tt i was a wet blanket tt i knew abt the surprise. but i wan u all to slp more larh. got sch. serious. but i am still very tounched. went back class and they go put bag then came to 3g3. they gave me my presents. it was a esprit shirt and a bracelet. is damn nice ok. andand! they bought me cake too! though there were no lighter for them to light the candle, i still blew and wish my wish. ( anw. i hadnt decide my wish, i shall decide when i am abt to slp) . they sang me a bdae song too! hahaha. my 2nd bdae song! same thing i was still touched.and went for class after tt. many ppl wished me happy bdae. and miss sharon goh during eng lesson was like all of a sudden when she halfway teach then she ask me. hazel ur bdae todae right? then i was like er yea. then she ask the class if they sang me a bdae song. then they were like no.. then she sae where can so bad blah and xiangliang led the class sing. i was very touched yet malu. then i was like harh no need larh. but they still sang it. my 3rd bdae song! haha. thanx 3s1! ("
followed by activity. everything was normal larh. AFTER TT. or can sae when during activity. sushila whose the mastermind. came up with smthin. they spread spread spread then don wan tell me. i was like byebye! i go toilet and they came catching me again. i was like askin from help from xiner haslinda. they don wan rescue me also. they sang me another bdae song. 4th one! hahaha. and gave me and subhaha slippers. (" thanx squaddies. heehee. i think u all spend a lot right. thank u! i love u all! haha.
okay here. i wana thank clique, friends, juniors, seniors, squadmates ( by alphabetical order in order to be fair). haha thanx for all ur prezzies. i love it all. and thanx for all of ur wishes! i felt so blessed.
came home. now at home. my mum not in. then my cousin bring in the bdae cake. but the fire blew off. end up i went out to dining room. they sang chinese and eng version of happy bdae. my 2 boys cousin. so my 5th and 6th bdae song? hahaha. and guess what? my cousin - malcolm after he sang the last line of eng version of happy birthdae to u... he blew the candle. he was so fast u knw. happy bdae to u... (blow). i was too slow to react. then they told me to wish. then i was like orh wish so pretend wishing and i just gave 1 cut on the cake and i came back to the room. they wana eat the cake. cause is elmo one. hahaha. my elmo cake. lol.
i don like my bdae. i like the celebrations u all had for me. but i had too much things in my heart that i cant enjoy. suddenly. i wana knw smthing. a questions tt i had been wanted to ask for 15 yrs. till todae i don have the courage to ask. 15 yrs. i had been living in a self denial world. bluff everyone who din knw me well. 15 yrs seem long. i wonder. how long wld it take before i knw. i am 15th already. do u knw?
i just wana knw who u are. is just tt. smtimes i tot tt i am strong but i can sae. no one ever knws the real secret tt is hid within me. not even my clique. for 15 yrs. i had been sailin alone. a yacht with rescue boats at the side but i am just unwilling to ask for help.
原来不是白就是黑
只不过是天真的以为
要醉得清醒要无辜的犯罪
现实的世界只有灰
坚强得太久好疲惫
想抱爱的人沉沉的睡
卷来的风暴凶猛里有种美
死了心痛就没感觉
灰色空间我是谁
记不得幸福是什么滋味
无路可退你是谁
怎么为我流泪
梦见发着光的草原
一身伤回到很久以前
我选择不恨带着平静走远
醒来后夜还是长夜
紧抱着我流泪