Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Actually got a lot of things to sae. But then now don knw what to sae already. I guess no one ever understands why I wana dance so much. Maybe u all think that is just out of my passion or I just like it. But the real reason behind this I suppose no one knws. If u realize, the oni thing I can do it successfully is dancing. Winning my cousins swimming. Though it is not recognized by uncle. To him I am still useless piece of dunno what. In many things, I don succeed. I seem hack care abt my studies. But actually I care. But no matter how much hard work I put in. I can neva score well. The things I put in don get appreciated anymore. Ppl don care. It seem like a must. Sometimes even get scolded over what I did, cause I did not do what they wan. I was told to set an example. Yes I did. I did everything. I was even willing to give up every other things. What I get was all these. Is it what I deserve? What for I put in so much hard work when no one cares. Ppl are selfish u knw. Everyone knws how much effort they put in but did they ever spare a thought for what I put in? in the end, I still have to force a smile and sae. I am fine. Thank u. I don deserve to break down anymore. My wishlist won come true anymore. My hopes for this yr seem to fall into pieces in seconds. In that few seconds. No one ever realize when I am quiet. I am vexed. I dunno. Sometimes, I feel that I am taken for granted. So if I die, ppl suppose to feel that they need me? Then I rather die. Then I will feel appreciated. I was thinking of commit suicide on the way home. Wishing for some flower pot to drop. Or some car to be speeding and run over me. Sometimes, I wish I have someone I love by my side. At least that person can share with me whatever I do. I can tell frankly what I feel..What can I do? All I can do is to accept everything I have. What I am given. The way I am being treated. Now I cant even talk to u. I won sae. No matter how sad nor how hurt I am. I will just hide somewhere there and cry. I am used to that. After finish crying. Wipe my tears, smile to everyone. I am fine! But I am really not .