Wednesday, March 28, 2007
i realli dunno what to sae now. i feel so. /: at first had a lot things to sae. but now. i feel that everything is redundant now. no longer important anymore larh. super no mood. damn moody now. guess what. hahaha. my retribution is here. 1 more gone. and i left none. i am not tellin anymore. no more guardian angel already. i have to depend on myself.too many things happen todae. i just don wana cry anymore. i am sick of myself crying. i hate myself for crying. why am i just so weak. todae. i held back. all the way till my hse downstairs. i couldnt take it. it was blurring my vision. but i held back. not a single drop of tear fell. be proud of me. i improved.
i sae i am not affected. do u believe? i sort of knew it larh. i used it to comfort myself for not entering crez awards. hahaha. so loser right me. haha. cant see a bigger loser than me. hahahaha. i supposingly shld be gd? i can concentrate on my studies? but... it just. forget it.
i could not find anyone. no one no more. i am alone. i am on the one man battle. everydae get home. asked abt results. asked abt homeworks. scolded for going home late. results everything. mother scold. grandparents scold. anutie and uncle scold. u all think i don care? i am stress too larh. i am more than u all. just tt.. u all are not me. won understand me.
whats the use of crying over such small stuff. i can be stronger than this!
so i suppose. it does affect me a lot. todae is just another emo dae. hack care abt me. heees. i will be fine after a while. don come and ask me if i am okay. i have to learn this. since all my guardian angel left me. i have to learn to get up myself. not cry on my guardian's angel shoulder. no more. hazel! u got to be braver! stronger!